There was so many times were I felt so alone & so not valued--thinking that "no guy will ever value or respect me"--but I HAD FINALLY get whole & VALUE myself before I expected a man to. and the temptations will NEVER EVER EVER EVER outweigh God's goodness! So let go of the LITTLE that is in your HAND and give your WHOLE life to HIM right now. I have something to tell you.” When Patrick suddenly sent me this text, I knew it couldn’t be a good thing.I was a 33-year-old Lutheran deacon-in-training trying to convince myself I didn’t want to have sex with him, even though I did.A pastor’s daughter, my upbringing included the strict moral code of “no sex before marriage.” This code was promptly discarded in my teenage years, when I learned, all too painfully, why my parents had tried to protect me from being prematurely thrust into the turmoil of physical intimacy. So, I was adopted at the age of 5 months by a Caucasian family. I would put super perms in my hair to make it straighter because I thought super meant straighter. I hated my "beauty" mark above my lip so I would try to cover it up with makeup. THEN, my mother & father came to look at me & said I WANT her! Soo, a few of you have asked me about my story and although I've touched on it-- I've never blogged about it. The African American family came to meet me and my foster family explained to them that I may have Cerebral Palsy because I cried all the time & because I was stiff. It was super surprising to me because I had always viewed myself as ugly. I also learned that I cannot take a couple bad apples & generalize a whole race.
Back then, (1982) they didn't have the tests they have now. I have 24 sisters and brothers ALL of different nationalities--my mother gave birth to only one of them. to live a life of pure worship to Jesus with my heart. My mom had ALWAYS taught us that WE are all equal & our skin color has nothing to do with it...
But when we met on January 4th 2009, it was the right TIME. I was my OWN mentor & it was the blind leading the blind. I regret wasting valuable time that could be spent giving my whole heart to Jesus as a single. It was birthed just a couple weeks ago & there's over 1,000 people that joined the movement.
If I could scream from the rooftops & show you ANYTHING.. Granted, I still spent time with God through my mess but I didnt' have anyone TELLING me nothing. It's a promise to honor God with your body & your life.
so thus--I couldn't give what I never knew or understood. So, I went to a church service and I gave my life to Christ in 2003.. I went to the Christian bible store & I looked at almost EVERY bible until I found one that I could read.
Even as a full blown sinner without Christ, I knew that Jesus had a plan for my life and that He talked to me. I knew that God was changing me into His image & I had such a fire in my belly for Christ.