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He may have an ability to speak boarding school English with a fake Eton accent.

And when you resist your transition into the Teutonic Upper Class, Aristo German Male will dump you for an Aristo German Female with higher cheekbones. Running around Hamburg’s Alster when you fancy going shoe shopping, or forcing you to go Nordic Walking on a Sunday morning when you’d still rather be under your duvet stuffing yourself with scrambled eggs, Sporty German Male laughs in the face of blubber, Wiener Schnitzel and chips.

Over-use of gel in dyed hair with mussed bed-head being particular popular at the moment. The Pros: Sporty German Males enjoy robust health and look like a 30-something whipper-snappers when they’re really 56.

Check his wardrobe for pedometers, clothing with Adidas or Puma labels and Nordic Walking Sticks. He will also invite you on Kur (Health Spa) “holidays” at least four times a year.

The aristos didn’t get anywhere in life by changing their ways, now, did they?

Distinguishing marks: On paper, the little “von” or “zu” -- or even more absurdly, both -- tagged onto his last name is a dead giveaway you’ve met a man of Teutonic Sang Real.

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